


Double Entendre

by shinyopals



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Jane Foster Loves Science, POV Jane Foster, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, everyone lives in stark tower, thor's celebrity status
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 04:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15964877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyopals/pseuds/shinyopals
Summary: Thor looked incredibly smug. Jane mentally cursed herself for playing chicken with an alien who had lived for a thousand years with a trickster not-quite-god for a brother. She probably should have expected this.Still, she had one last response up her sleeve.Jane teases Thor. It doesn't go quite as planned.





	Double Entendre

‘The worst thing is, you enjoy it!’ Jane said. She tried not to laugh as Thor attempted to look wounded.

‘I do not!’ he claimed. ‘I regard it as a duty. A… a… burden to bear.’ He nuzzled her cheek and kissed her chin and slid his hand vaguely upwards from where it had been resting on her belly. She wriggled into him, feeling a warmth spread through her. He smelled like a rainstorm, and she wasn’t sure how. She curled her fingers around the top of his jeans because, well, despite his ridiculousness, she wouldn’t be opposed to him removing them.

‘Oh yeah,’ she said sarcastically, and with a slight hitch in her breath she pretended wasn’t there as his hand continued to drift up over her breast, apparently aimlessly. ‘The worst. What a total burden. Hundreds of people throwing themselves at you wherever you go, cooing over how _strong_ and _handsome_ you are-’

‘I am very strong and handsome,’ he interjected.

She chose to ignore that. ‘-and begging for autographs and giving you their phone number. Life is so hard for you. I am crying for you over this terrible burd-’

He interrupted her by kissing her, lips crushing hard against hers. Sometimes she wondered how he didn’t leave bruises every time, but he was _so careful_. Careful in a way she didn’t need to be, and she pulled his hair on principle, hard enough for him to notice. He practically purred because he loved it when she got a bit rough, and she grinned.

‘The point is,’ she said, pulling back so she could take off her t shirt and receiving a further approving murmur as she did. Thor’s hand instantly went back to her bra because sometimes he was, above all else, a man. ‘Dating a celebrity is weird, and dating you is even weirder for so many reasons, and if you think you have any hope of convincing me that dozens of beautiful people fawning over you is something you don’t like, you have another thing coming.’

‘I didn’t say anything about beauty,’ said Thor, with the same wide, innocent eyes, albeit ones that sparkled with suppressed amusement. ‘They are hideous. All of them. I don’t even notice them.’ He smiled charmingly over at her. Jane snorted, because she wasn’t really jealous, she was just trying to get used to everything that dating Thor meant.

‘Oh, just get your jeans off,’ she told him.

He was only too eager to obey.

~*~

All the same, the prospect of moving into a glittering skyscraper in downtown Manhattan with her absurdly sexy and ridiculously popular celebrity alien boyfriend was _weird_.

~*~

A month after the move, Jane and Darcy were a few minutes early leaving the tower, which was rare. Even taking the New York Metro into account, they would likely be able to get to Columbia with plenty of time to get coffee and get prepped for the lecture she was delivering. 

Just outside the tower at ground level, however, she spotted a small crowd of people gathered around a very familiar looking alien with his back to her.

Thor had been out for a run that morning. He’d kissed her goodbye a couple of hours before, wearing very human gym clothes, with his hair tied back in a very human-looking way. Not that that helped him: he still got spotted by autograph hunters and fans, if only because he ran a two-minute mile and called it “leisurely”. Still, that meant they couldn’t catch him until he finished his workout. 

That day, there were nearly a dozen in the little group around him. Most were gazing at him in a way that Jane honestly hoped she did not do, but strongly suspected she might. If the back of Thor’s head was any judge, he was being charming. That probably wasn’t a surprise, though. He was always charming.

If pressed later, he would then totally deny he got any sort of ego boost from being surrounded by admirers even when he was in his stinky gym gear.

‘We’ve got time, right?’ Jane said to Darcy. ‘Hold my bag for a sec.’

‘Sure thing, but good luck getting through that lot.’

Jane, however, didn’t push her way through. Instead, feeling mischievous, she joined the queue.

Thor didn’t immediately notice. To give credit to him, whether he enjoyed the attention or not, he took his role as a public figure seriously. He was currently bent towards a woman and her young daughter - ten at most - and was listening to the little girl as he signed her sparkly, unicorn covered notebook (which he praised and asked where she bought it from, and delighted the kid, who then showed him her stuffed unicorn). Jane felt herself smile involuntarily. She wasn’t the only one in the crowd to do so. _Goddamnit, Thor._

A selfie, a final compliment to the girl on her many unicorns, and a bow to the mother, and Thor moved onto the next in line. It was slightly less cute watching him interact with a couple of spotty teenage boys in death metal hoodies who wanted to know how many people he’d killed. Thor was non-specifically boastful about his “many victories” and, to their apparent consternation, asked them about their school. 

After that he faced a handful of glamorous twenty-and-thirty-somethings of the type that Jane had been talking about when she’d told him he liked this a bit too much. He definitely flirted. He just, to Jane’s slight relief, did it in a very understated way. The smile, the eye contact, the compliments… he did that with almost everyone. When he flirted with her, it was a bit… more.

Finally, he turned, sharpie poised and at the ready to autograph - because of course he’d taken one with him on his run - and momentarily froze when he saw it was Jane instead of a stranger. His already lovely smile curled up at the edges, just for her, and she felt herself melt a little bit. 

All the same, she’d made up her mind.

‘Oh my god!’ she gushed, channelling herself whenever she met Nobel Laureates. ‘Are you really Thor? Are you really an alien? I’m your biggest fan. Can I get a selfie?’

Thor’s mouth dropped slightly, but he recovered quickly. ‘It is indeed I, the Mighty Thor,’ he said. There was a challenge in his voice, but it was one that Jane was totally prepared to meet. ‘I thank you for your kind words. I would be honoured to be in a photograph with someone so impressed with me.’

‘You’re definitely, like, my fifth favourite Avenger,’ said Jane cheerfully. She heard a gasp from a couple of the fans surrounding her. She was starting to enjoy this.

The mask dropped. ‘ _Fifth_?’ he demanded.

‘Well, I mean, Cap’s beautiful, and have you seen Hawkeye’s arms? And the Hulk is-’

‘All right, all right,’ Thor interrupted. He attempted to give an impression of magnanimous dignity. ‘At least tell me that Stark-’

‘Oh yeah, he’s definitely six,’ she said. ‘Top five is good. Like I said, I’m a huge fan! Will you sign my boobs?’ She tugged her shirt down at the neck.

She saw him nearly lose it laughing, and was quietly congratulating herself, when he suddenly recovered and put an arm around her, pulling her her into his personal space. ‘Of course,’ he said, smiling down at her. ‘I would not dream of denying one of my biggest fans so simple a request.’

He held her gaze as he reached forward with the sharpie, daring her to back down. While this hadn’t been exactly how she’d planned this, Jane stuck out her chin and cocked an eyebrow. If he thought she was giving up now…

Of course, Thor was by that point recovered enough to be positively gleeful as he signed. And he didn’t just write his name. Jane reflected that it was a good thing her shirt buttoned right to the top, because he wrote for what felt like forever. Then, he was done, and he leaned back to very visibly inspect his work (and her bra). He looked incredibly smug. Jane mentally cursed herself for playing chicken with an alien who had lived for a thousand years with a trickster not-quite-god for a brother. She probably should have expected this.

Still, she had one last response up her sleeve.

‘Awesome!’ she said, maintaining her chipper, fangirl voice as she peered down her shirt. He’d written at least an entire sentence in runes, the asshole, and it covered the left side of her collarbone, right down to her bra. She looked back up at him and smiled brightly. ‘Do you think Captain America will sign the other one?’

‘ _Jane_!’ 

And that, she considered, was enough of a victory for her. She laughed and pulled out of his arm, giving his hand a squeeze as she went. ‘See you later!’

Shaking his head at her, Thor blew a kiss and then turned back to his actual fans. 

‘You do know that like, five more people are going to ask him to sign their boobs now,’ said Darcy, who was also shaking her head.

‘He’ll be fine,’ said Jane, waving a hand over her shoulder, dismissing the problem. ‘He’s got himself out of worse.’ 

‘Well put your jacket on,’ said Darcy.

Jane blinked. ‘It’s… warm.’ 

‘Yeah, and that lovely professional white button-down you’re wearing to look smart is just a tiny bit transparent when it comes to massive runes in black sharpie.’

Jane looked down at herself and swore. 

Darcy snickered unsympathetically.

~*~

In the ladies’ washroom before her lecture, she pulled off her jacket to inspect the damage. The details of the writing itself couldn’t be made out through her shirt, but at worst it looked like she had a weird tattoo. She pulled back her shirt and took a selfie so she could read the text the right way around.

She knew Thor appeared to speak and write English because of the Alltongue, and she also knew that the runes he sometimes wrote in were a different language entirely. He’d shown her a few things written in those runes a few months before, back when he’d first arrived, and ‘Jane’ (although pronounced more with a ‘Y’ than a ‘J’) was one of them. 

This was the first thing he’d written on her chest, followed by a full sentence of text, followed by ‘ᚦ ♡’. That rune she knew was called a ‘thorn’ in English, and was a single letter for ‘Th’. She considered complaining to him that he hadn’t even given her a proper autograph, just an initial, but decided that would probably end badly for her. Instead, judging her expression in the selfie to be suitably unimpressed, she sent him that.

His reply was almost immediate. It was three emojis. All three of them were the same laughing-so-hard-it’s-crying face. 

Jane glared at her phone and began a laborious search through the emojis for one that was appropriate to reply with. Before she managed, his next messages arrived in quick succession:

> Thor: Had I known this was what was needed for you to send me half unclothed selfies whilst at work, I should have done it long ago.
> 
> Thor: And I have spoken with the Captain. He would prefer not to provide such an autograph, but if you wish it I will seek to persuade him, such is my devotion.

At last hitting on the response she wanted to give, Jane gave a mental “thank you” to the Unicode Consortium for creating Avengers emojis the previous year. Then she sent Thor a Captain America shield and a face with hearts instead of eyes.

_Then_ she shoved her phone back in her bag, re-buttoned her shirt, and put her jacket back on. She had a lecture to give, and she was damn sure she was going to look like a totally serious and important scientist, rather than one who’d just lost a game with her stupid celebrity boyfriend.

~*~

‘Firstly, you need to tell me you didn’t actually speak to Steve,’ was the first thing she said to Thor when she got home.

He snickered as he put down his book and rose from the couch to greet her. She leaned into the embrace because, well, she’d brought this on herself and she was reasonable enough to know that. But she pulled back before the kiss had gone on too long.

‘No, seriously, if you spoke to Steve I can never talk to him again and I have to go live in Antarctica. Which wouldn’t be all that bad because I could get so much work done without Tony interrupting every ten minutes. But the point is: tell me you did not actually speak to Steve.’

He curled his hand through her hair and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘I did not speak to Steve,’ he assured her gravely, but with a hint of a smile. She studied his face skeptically, but decided she was satisfied. 

‘I guess you wouldn’t want to share that he’s your girlfriend’s favourite Avenger,’ she said, doing her best to copy his own innocent wide-eyed look.

Thor poked her in the belly and made her yelp, but then he resumed his hold on her waist and brushed his nose against hers. ‘I might do it just for how pretty you look when your face turns pink,’ he told her with a sly grin, sliding his hands around her back and under her shirt as he did. 

‘Um,’ said Jane, brain momentarily deserting her as she felt her face threaten to do just that. 

Thor continued, ‘But it turns out you are right, dear Jane: I _do_ enjoy people throwing themselves at me on the street and asking me to sign their body parts. I shall never doubt you again.’

‘Oh, shut up,’ she said with a laugh, and she kissed him again.

Shortly, she pulled back and reached up to her shirt to unbutton it. His eyes followed her hands, and then he began to assist with the buttons from the bottom without prompting. 

‘Before you get too into it: spill,’ said Jane, pointing at the letters. ‘What did you write on me? I’m assuming it says something like “hahaha never get into a fight with a god”.’ Thor gave a soft laugh, and reached forward to trace out the runes with one of his fingers. Jane shivered, and rested her hands on his waist. ‘God, you’re lucky you’re so cute or you’d be in a whole world of trouble right now.’

He met her eyes, still clearly amused. ‘Says the woman who has spent all of today confessing her admiration for Steve Rogers,’ he said. He resumed his tracing over the letters. ‘You recognised your name, and my initial?’

‘And the little heart,’ she said. ‘Goof. You better not do that for all the women in your queue of admirers.’

‘The men too,’ said Thor, with a sudden grin. She swatted him. ‘No, I do not. Just you.’ He leaned down to kiss her forehead. ‘The rest is a line from one of my favourite poems.’

Jane’s eyebrows rose. ‘Really?’ She looked up at him. Something about his amusement over the whole debacle told her that, despite the heart, this was not a lovey-dovey poem. ‘Something about an epic war?’ she guessed. ‘What does it actually say? Is it an insult?’

‘I would never!’ he said, mock-wounded. Then that smile was back. ‘The literal translation is… unpoetic. I have not the skill of a wordsmith to do it justice. The line I wrote is, broadly, “I know exactly what you’re doing”. The stanza then continues “I will have my vengeance, and then I’ll have you”.’ 

Snorting, Jane swatted him again. ‘You jerk,’ she said. ‘Did you just declare war on me?’

Thor leaned down and kissed her again.

‘I may have done,’ he conceded. ‘If you read the poem in a certain way, it does, in fact, translate to an extremely insulting declaration of war.’ Another knowing smile. ‘If you choose to read it in a different tone of voice, however, it takes on an alternative meaning.’

‘What’s that?’ asked Jane, frowning a little, watching his face for some clue.

Instead of replying with words, he chose that moment to hoist her up into his arms and kiss her properly. Jane’s first reaction was a squeak of surprise, but she very quickly settled herself and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He might have got ink all over her that was going to take _days_ to come off, but he was still very good at kissing. 

When he pulled back, it wasn’t to stop kissing her, instead it was to lean to the side and kiss her neck, her jaw and her collarbone. Jane hooked her legs around his waist and sighed, gripping his hair tightly. Then he was back, lips against her ears.

‘I know exactly what you’re doing, Jane Foster,’ he said, voice low in a way that made her stomach flip-flop. ‘I will have my vengeance, and then I’ll have _you_.’

She burst into giggles, despite the butterflies at him talking _like that_ , and he leaned back and laughed with her.

‘Did you write a line from a smutty poem on my chest? In broad daylight?’ she said at last, because suddenly everything was explained.

He looked unrepentant. Pleased with himself, even. Of course. ‘Or a declaration of war,’ he reminded her. ‘Your choice, beloved. I can take my shirt off, or put my armour on.’ 

Laughing again, Jane reached up to brush the hair back from where it now hung messily about his face. She slid her fingers over his smile and received a kiss as she went. ‘How about I tie you to the bed _before_ I decide?’ she said, grinning. ‘I think there was vengeance, either way. If you think I’m going to let you do _anything_ you want before every last trace of this sharpie is washed off - which, for the record, is going to take several days - then you are sorely mistaken.’

The way his eyes darkened told her he was in favour of that idea, so she kissed him again, as hard as she could, and directed him to the bedroom with a pull of her hips. She couldn’t help but think that there had to be some advantages to getting an accidental sharpie tattoo out of sheer stubbornness, after all.


End file.
